Afraid to Love You
by RyleeBeth
Summary: They built each other back up when they needed it most, but didn't know where to go from there. Quinn/Tina


_Wow… so this is my first attempt at femmeslash. I hope that it's any good. I know it's an unusual pairing and that I probably should have gone for Faberry or Brittana, but this ended up happening._

_It_ all started on a Tuesday. You'd think that there would be something dramatic or memorable about that Tuesday, considering it always happens like that in romance novels, but it was a normal summer day in Lima, Ohio. The only thing that wasn't normal was the clear ringing of the doorbell diffusing through the Cohen-Chang's house.

"Tee, it's for you!" called her mom.

Tina quickly got up out of bed and bounded down the stairs. She hoped it wasn't anyone too important or judgmental at the door, because she was only wearing plaid pajama bottoms and a cami. Her messy hair was the icing on the cake that was her appearance. It was only… eleven o'clock. She really had been sleeping later ever since Artie had started ignoring her. When she reached the doorstep, her jaw flew open at her visitor.

"Quinn? What are you doing here?" she asked, blushing. She didn't really know Quinn too well, and hoped her look wasn't going to give the blonde the wrong impression.

"Did you just wake up?" the other girl laughed, obviously taking in Tina's ragtag appearance.

"No," she lied nervously.

"Ok then. Well, I'm here because of the cake in my hands. I made it for you because Mercedes told me about what's going on between you and Artie. I also want to tell you that you shouldn't stand for it. I know what it feels like when your boyfriend is more interested in other things. In my case, Puck was more focused on other girls, but still, I know how it feels."

Tina just noticed the large cake on the plate Quinn was carrying as she was spoken to. She was too busy being embarrassed about being underdressed, considering the girl bearing the cake was in a pale yellow sundress and in full makeup.

"Have you broken up with Puck?"

"No, but that's different."

"You deserve better."

"Not necessarily. After what I did to Finn, I'm not sure if I deserve any good romantically."

"Trust me, you deserve better."

"Well, thank you, Tina. I have to get going. I'm supposed to be meeting Puck soon…"

"No problem. Thank you for the cake and for stopping bye."

Just like that, Tina was alone with the cake. She brought it over to the table and noticed that Quinn had written on it in icing. In elegant scripture, the words _Boys Suck, Don't They? _were on the middle of the cake. Tina smudged away the "don't they?" part. Boys definitely sucked; no question about it.

The next time they met, Tina was angrily stomping down the sidewalk of her neighborhood. She glared at the ground, cursing Artie and his videogames. She had finally worked up the nerve to breakup with him, and was upset about how surprised he had seemed when she ended their relationship. She didn't look up until she bumped into none other than Quinn Fabray.

"Watch your- oh, Tina?"

"Quinn, I'm so sorry."

"No need for apologies. Now, what's up with you?"

"Nothing."

"So, you just storm through the neighborhood over nothing?"

"I broke up with Artie, and he acted like I was breaking up with him for no reason."

"I'm sorry. Boys are idiots."

"Yes, they are. What are you doing in the neighborhood? You don't live here, don't you?"

"I do now. We bought a smaller house now that it's just my mom and I."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"There's a lot of things we're sorry about, aren't there?"

"I'm sorry that I can't keep a stupid boy's attention. Am I that weird that I can't even keep my boyfriend, who's now my ex, interested during the summer?"

"As I said, boys are idiots. You're beautiful, Tina."

"Puck's an idiot. You're beautiful," Tina said, a little too quickly for it not to be awkward. Why was Tina's heart beating a little quicker than usual?

"Thank you, but I just feel like I shouldn't break up with him."

"Just because you had a baby with him doesn't mean that you have to love him."

"I have to go."

Once again, Tina was left alone. This time, she found her eyes following Quinn as she left. She wanted to tell her that she was sorry for bringing up Beth, but she couldn't work up the courage. To her surprise, though, Quinn turned around and walked back.

"I'm sorry, Tina. I need to break up with him, don't I?"

"I think you do, Quinn."

"It would feel like permanently losing Beth, though."

"Beth's gone, Quinn. She lives with Ms. Corcoran."

"I know, but holding onto Puck feels like holding onto her."

"It's not. He's not good for you."

"I know."

Both girls opened their arms up for a hug at the same time. The embrace was short, but tight. Tina was the one who pulled away, as she was embarrassed for breathing in the scent of Quinn's hair. Quinn thanked Tina for being her friend and told her that she had to be going. She was going to go break up with Puck. When Quinn walked away that time, Tina smiled. Things were starting to change for the both of them.

Their subsequent meeting was planned. Quinn was bored and invited Tina to come to the pool with her. Tina, though unsure of how she looked in it, wore a lacey dark blue bikini. She threw a modest cover up over it, and was glad her mother didn't ask her which swimsuit she was wearing. (Her mother was not pleased with the risqué gift from her daughter's aunt) When Tina took off her dress at the pool, Quinn's eyes popped open. Tina looked… good. She usually dressed so conservatively. Taking in Tina, Quinn had never felt more confused in her life. Surely there was nothing sexual about thinking your friend looked beautiful, right? That's all she thought, that Tina was beautiful, and nothing more. Right?

Quinn took of her cover up and received a similar reaction from her friend. Her bikini was rather much like Tina's, except it was crimson red. While Quinn was known to complain about her baby fat through Facebook status updates, Tina couldn't find a single gram of extra fat on the girl's body. (Not that she was looking up and about Quinn's figure) Tina couldn't help but notice that red was a very good color on Quinn.

"Shall we swim?"

"I'd like that."

They waded through the water and ended up accidentally brushing up against each other a few times. Each time, both girls blushed fiercely. One time, a few splashing boys unintentionally pushed the two into each other. Their hands touched, and they simultaneously grabbed each other's conveniently placed hand.

"I like you," Tina blurted out.

"What?"

"Never mind."

"You like me?"

"Uh…"

"I'm sorry," Quinn whispered, before gently pressing a kiss to Tina's cheek, and hurrying out and away from the pool.

Over the next couple of days, Tina sat on her bed and reflected over her relationship with Quinn. Was she a lesbian now? Or bisexual? She buried her face in her pillow, fully understanding why there was so much drama over Quinn during the past school year. She could attract a seemingly straight goth girl. What if Quinn told people what had happened at the pool? What if her parents heard of it? What would they think? Tina shook her head, Quinn would never do that to her. But maybe she would, Tina thought, because Quinn didn't feel the same way about her.

"Tina, that girl is back on our doorstep," called her mom.

With her heart racing, Tina bounded down the stairs and stared at Quinn. She was wearing a halter top and temptingly short jean shorts.

"Quinn-

"I like you, too. It took me awhile to come to terms with it, but I like you, and I want us to be together. Boys suck, so maybe… this is the best thing that could ever happen to us."

"Kiss me."

And so Quinn did. It was long, passionate, and it felt _good_, too good. It scared Tina. Was _it_ really happening?

"Quinn I can't love you."

"Why the hell not? You were the one who started this?"

"My parents, our friends, we're both in fragile places right now! Do you really think that this is a good idea?"

"I can't believe you! You… lead me on? I thought only guys did that! I thought I could trust you."

"Quinn, would you honestly come out to the high school for me?"

"I'm not ready for that yet, but I sure as hell wouldn't cheat on you. I learned that lesson the hard way. This is about Artie, isn't it?"

"No, Quinn! Please, listen. I, I think I might love you, and I just can't… love a girl."

"You'll regret this," Quinn cried, before quickly pecking Tina's lips as a final goodbye, and storming out the door.

That time, Quinn didn't come back. She never came back.

Three months later, Tina was with Mike, but still longing for Quinn. Tina stole a glance at Quinn, who was sitting in Sam's lap, looking at him lovingly. She seemed too happy for Tina to be hopeful.

She never meant for _it_ to happen. She never planned on anything like _it_ to happen… but it did. And as much as she wishes she could go back in time and change the way she handled things, she can't. If she could, her love would still in her arms, and not in _his_. She lost the woman who just might be the love of her life, all because of her own insecurities. Tina thinks life is cruel, because even though she was the one to end _it_, she's the one wishing it hadn't.


End file.
